being a mom is a pain in the butt

2012 was a bad year for punctuation and me. I didn’t have a single period and I nearly perforated my colon. I understand that had the third degree perennial tear I sustained during childbirth gone any further it would have effected my rectum, but the fact that I can type the preceding as a personal truth gives me the right to take anatomical liberty in the construction of a punctuation joke.

I went through a lot bringing a child into the world and then the real work of caring for it. My baby and I spent our early days together learning each others rhythms. I was figuring out how this person was going to fit into my life and how my life was going to have to change to make room for her while at the same time helping her navigate how to adjust to being an independent temporal being. Thus far the experience has been beautiful, humbling and grueling.

Early on I felt overwhelmed by the range of child rearing options and was fearful that I would make the wrong decision that would do some sort of long-term damage. From that place of anxiety I could see very clearly how someone could become defensive about their parenting decisions, or try to find validation in the choices they had made by demeaning all other ways of doing things.

I know now that there are three hard and fast rules that every parent must follow:
1) never shake a baby
2) never feed a baby honey
3) never search the web for baby sleep solutions at 4 in the morning
Outside of these the boundaries of proper parenting are wide enough to fit every parent child relationship within them.

Through the many hours I’ve spent bonding with my baby I know that the choices I’m making as a parent are the best things I personally can do to meet my child’s unique needs. This work also gave me the sense of having earned the right to be the kind of parent that feels right to me. This sense makes trusting myself easier and also reminds me to stay out of the decisions others make. Because if you want to have any say in how to raise a child you better be prepared for the possibility of having yourself ripped a new asshole.